Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Analogies Help. So does June 17, 2010.

I need to learn that one bump in the road is not a deadly cliff, my wheels will not be spinning soundlessly in the air as I careen into a Grand Canyon-y crevice in the earth if one thing goes wrong - like, the recent change of address on my drivers license delaying my passport a week or two. NO BIGGIE. Yea, I'm probably going to be spending my first plane ride alone, all 12+ hours of it.  My Seoul sister will be alone in a big country, while I, making a not so great impression on my new employer, wait impatiently to start life. 
These are not good things. But, in the long run, it's like a flat tire. Shitty, not on schedule, not planned, not helpful, but,  a part of life. People understand. Things get worked out. It's all in your attitude. 
I know this, but sometimes it's hard to LIVE this. 

SO!  Let us focus on when life will be all about LIVING.

Here it goes: 
I will still make the Korean Mud Festival.  

"Boryeong Mud Festival has been held at Daecheon swimming beach, there is a unique shell-powered sandy beach only found in Eastern countries. So, you may swim and massage with a mudpack at the same time. Furthermore, there are Mud massage programs (Self massage at the Beach, Ultramodern mud massage) and Mud Experiential Land program using mud powder made through the processing procedure, that is, we gather mud from pure plain and remove all impurities. "

Soo.. maybe I should focus on June 17, 2010.
I will be 3-4 weeks into my stay. I will be meeting new people and doing new things, and i will be one month from a really freaking cool weekend. I think I will be really happy, and there will be 11 months left to my stay, and the best part?!

Time moves so quickly, what is 7-10 days, anyway?! like, 1.5% of a year?! 
( In the words of my favorite llama . .. booyah.)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Happpppy Earth Day!

So, it is Earth Day. I love this holiday. 
Just a great excuse to appreciate the big ol' globe we exist upon. Its pretty awesome, isn't it!? I mean - just think about trees. These large hardy - growths? - that sprout from dirt and water and sun and grow and grow until we cut them down to make houses or boats or art. So peaceful & giving. Love.
I lived my first sun shower of the year, sort of like a white christmas. 
The best. 

Some things:

independence. codependence.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


"Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings.  It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that are forever blowing through one's mind."

-Mark Twain

Last night, probably around 2 or 3 or 4, I woke up on top of my right arm and left leg. To say they were asleep is beyond an understatement. It was reverse phantom limb. Millions of nerves stampeding for blood supply, trampling each other into a neon buzz. In half-sleep-lucidity, I peacefully churned through possible reasons for this bizarre lack of muscle control: stroke, brain tumor, heart attack. I think I even processed the thought, "Oh Well." 
Obviously, this all was a result of some seriously deep sleep on an unfortunate angle, but that didn't even occur to me until the morning. I fell back asleep quickly, and woke up with four functioning limbs.
It got me thinking: IT'S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE.
I've been meaning to write this post for some time now. In a way, I think perspective is the one singular thing that defines and separates us, as well as what allows us to connect with each other. Without perspective, we are all the same. 
You can argue that brain chemistry and upbringing make us into the people we are, or that we are born good or bad, smart or dumb. I am not contesting that - but that is all part of perspective. Where we've been, what we've done,  and the way in which we are wired shape the way we look at the world - our perspective.
When two perspectives clash, there is anger and frustration. Our reality is challenged, and no one - no_one- likes that.
 But when we meet another person whose perspective, when matched with our own, makes complete and total sense, we experience a human connection, an amazing thing. 
I think that there are aspects of ourselves that are steadfast - deeply ingrained elements, like sympathy and responsibility. Ones perspective can change constantly, or rarely, but these characteristics hold strong.
I am leaving my home, friends, car, cat, culture and country behind in just over one month. In 6 weeks, I will be in a different country. It's going to be sad, and amazing, hard and exciting, fun, and really freaking interesting. In the end, it will be a decision I can call a good one. 
Still, a part of me is going to die away, and thats kind of sad. The perspective I own right now is in its final days. (Which is a good thing, I'm sort of jaded and view most things through a sea of melancholy. Direct result of 9-5 capitalism. I'm sure of it.) I will never again see things as I do today,  sitting in my childhood bedroom, on my sisters laptop, thinking about what I believe and how I live and whether or not I will agree with myself in 365 days. 
oH, and I found my first grey hair today. White, actually. It's funny how the only choice we really have is to throw our hands up and go for the ride, and although it is tempting to resist, life is constantly reminding you of that fact.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Wisdom News, April 7, 2010

"From every scrap you make a blanket."

-Rose Chernin, in Kim Chernin, "In My Mother's House" (1983)